Guilt, Squared


Last night when I walked in the door from work Cole immediately said, “Hey Mommy, do you want to watch me play this game?”  And you guys, I DIDN’T want to watch him play that game.  It is not interesting to me to sit and watch something on someone’s small phone screen, most especially a video game that I have no idea what or how it works.  So I told Cole that I needed just a little time to regroup from work, give Mommy a couple minutes to change and get a drink, and then the evening got away from us and I never did watch him play that damn game.  So of course I feel hugely guilty today; I keep thinking of his little voice so excited to show me something and pretty soon he isn’t going to want me to watch anything and I should have just dropped my purse and watched the fucking game.

Always stop and watch the game, because sooner than you want they are going to have you drop them off down the street from school, ask you to stop cheering so loudly at their sporting events, tell you you are embarassing them in front of their friends.  Tonight I will be better; tonight I will go home and watch the game for a while, and know that he wants me there beside him, and that will be enough.


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