I look at him and can’t believe he is the same baby who grunted in the bassinet at the foot of the bed, six short years ago. Today he went to his friend’s house, just like a regular little person. He was SO excited, has been planning and talking about it all week. His friend left him a message, breathless on the voicemail…”Cole, you are my best friend and I really hope you can come over. I miss you a lot.” A message that I don’t have the heart to erase. And when we got there, and he got out of the car, he was overwhelmed and stood there in silence as they orbited around each other and then disappeared. He didn’t say goodbye and I tried not to let it matter. He has his own life, now, and I am left with mine beginning to tear, beginning to rip where I built my life around him.
He fell asleep while I was reading his bedtime story, exhausted from this most exciting of days. I eased myself gently off his bed, turned on the fish light, clicked off his lamp. There is a ghost of my tiny baby in his face as he sleeps and I stood there for a long time watching him. He clutched his Pooh blanket and sighed deeply, and my heart swelled.
He is his own, wonderful person and I’m proud to know him.


2 responses »

  1. Sorry I’ve not responded, I’ve had a cold all weekend and felt like s***. Oh, your post makes me cry! Sweet little Cole & his Poo blankie. Sound like you may have the baby blues? Thinking of having another?

    • Sucks that you are sick!
      Yeah I get baby blues every once in a while, when it seems like Cole is getting so big- plus I feel like I don’t have that much time left if I DO ever want another, you know? Just feeling nostalgic with him going to a friend’s house for the first time!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s