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I had a post all planned out to write today, but then something happened and that post went right out the window. Because guess what? My mom and I are going out to lunch on Sunday! Here’s what happened…

Yesterday was her birthday, and it was a hard one. I thought of her all day and finally, last night when I couldn’t sleep, I passive aggressively posted a picture on Facebook that said something about how I think of you everyday, and I wrote in the status… “Especially today.” I have to admit, I was hoping that she would see and know that at least I was thinking of her. So then this morning I noticed that I had a couple “likes” on that FB post and one of them was her. Yay! Even though I was a wimp, she got the message. So I’m sitting at work and I suddenly get a FB message. My heart leaped into my throat when I saw that it was from my mom. She simply said, “Can we go to lunch or something sometime?” Of course I wrote back right away and told her anytime! So we made plans for this weekend.

Ugh, you guys, I am so nervous! I don’t want to mess things up again, I don’t want to rehash all the old hurts, and we’re going to be in a public place so I don’t want to cry and/or yell! (I am a yeller, unfortunately). There is so much riding on this, and on the one hand I don’t want to put too much pressure on myself or her and then on the other hand my heart is singing because yay! Maybe things will work out and this whole thing will be OVER. And I’ll have my mom back.

I’ll write the planned post tomorrow, just needed to spew out my anxiety for a second here. So please, send good thoughts my way Sunday at noon!

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4 responses »

  1. Congrats…your passive-aggressive HARD WORK paid off! Ha. (wish that worked so well for me) so excited for Sunday! So happy for you. Just try to be open to your mom’s lead. Remember that even though it totally sucks to re-hash the past…sometimes it is necessary to help heal and smooth the road ahead. Picked out what you are wearing yet 🙂

    • OMG I am SO nervous. And yes, I have totally thought about what I’m going to wear and haven’t decided on it yet. Don’t know if I should go for casual “I-don’t-care” or fancier “I-am-doing-so-good-without-you!” And I just don’t know what the very first thing to say… Hey, haven’t talked to you in forever, but what’s up? But I just keep telling myself I won’t be any worse off than I am now, because we don’t talk anyway and the worst that can happen is that we never talk again, and I really don’t see that happening.

  2. Totally get that you are hesitant and unsure….
    But you will never know what can take place in meeting with her unless you put on your most comfortable big girl pants and just do it.
    (Repeating shades of Suzy Shrink stuff here, since I have heard this advice from her often enough.)
    Has it occurred to you that your mother may be feeling similar anxiety about the meeting?
    Anyway, hope that pixie dust is sprinkled generously on you both.

  3. D, meant to ask, how long has it been since you’ve spoken to her? What was this falling out about? Sorry if I’m being nosy (again) but I don’t recall reading what happened? xx

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