I don’t have any friends. At the height of Adam’s addiction, I was embarrassed and trying really hard to make it seem that nothing was wrong, so I tended to avoid everyone, and one by one, my friends dropped off. I couldn’t be honest about anything, like why I couldn’t ever afford to go have lunch or why we had to move AGAIN. To admit to someone else that there was a problem would mean that I would have to admit to myself, and at the time I just couldn’t, I just wasn’t ready. So I was a bad friend, cancelled plans and didn’t return phone calls. I wouldn’t have stuck around, either.
So now I don’t know how to MAKE friends as an adult. The people I work with are either a lot younger than me or just someone that wouldn’t hang out with outside of work. I don’t do any activities, can’t really volunteer at school because I work. Where do you meet people? You don’t go to a bar and pick up friends.
And I miss friends. I miss having someone to text something silly to, having someone to complain about Adam if he’s annoying me, someone to talk and talk to. I miss giggling and having inside jokes.
So I’m putting the invitation out there. Want to be my best friend? I’m taking applications and would like to fill the position soon. Qualified applicants only apply.